Happiness and the Journey to "All-in"

In 2016 I faced devastating circumstances that shook my faith to the core. I was at the end of my rope and beyond and looked to God as never before. I was shocked to see him show his love to me in small and big, ongoing ways, such as through a much closer family relationship, a challenging church, a new start, and books. Well, technically audiobooks because I don’t generally have the patience to sit down and read whole books. I encountered a deeper relationship with God than I ever thought was possible. Seeing the reality of God's love for me started to radically change my life.

One particularly inspiring book was ‘Emotionally Healthy Spirituality” by Peter Scazzero. It is far more ‘big picture’ than the title might suggest and a really powerful book. It is based on Peter's deep struggles and change. He is one of the most ‘sold out’ Christians I have ever read, in ways that are refreshingly real.

It, other books, preachers, God-ordained circumstances, and most of all a much deeper study of scriptures, God helped me on that path. Despite many years of thinking such a step would make me 'weird,' I realized that I had to commit to the 'all-in' path. It radically changed my life. I have concluded that what God wants to show us is the way towards true peace and fulfillment, is centering on him. It cannot be found by being more religious. In fact, I believe that much of institutional Christianity leans towards a type of pharisaism. Many of us think that we know the true God best, certainly better than most of the people who are not in the type of church we are in. We have God in our box. And based on that we tend to conform more to that church’s way of thinking (or we leave, emotionally or physically). We try to live in a way that is close to what that church believes and that we think God wants - based on the box we have him in. Often subconsciously, we try to show ourselves as a valued member of that group. We tend to look down on anyone who is in some significant way not in our way of thinking. There can be other things that are outside of church that can also start to creep into our thinking - things that that don’t fully match the life and key teachings of Jesus. And in that process, we can if we are not careful, become to some degree or another, pharisaical.

I realized that in some ways, I had tended towards pharisaism. It’s a natural tendency. It’s easier to follow a set of ‘rules’ than to have a dynamic relationship with God where we have to be very sensitive to what he is working in us on an ongoing basis.

I believe what God wants for us is to not follow a formula, but a deeper dynamic relationship journey to him. That involves not just giving lip service to, but actually growing in our love for him and for others and showing more and more 'fruit.' 𝗜 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗚𝗼𝗱 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝘀𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗰𝘂𝗹𝘁𝘆 𝗶𝗻 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴  𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗰𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗶𝗺.

Our circumstances, for most of us, largely determine our happiness. I believe that God wants our relationship with him to grow so much deeper that we can be fulfilled and at peace regardless of the circumstances. In essence, I believe that he wants us to grow towards being ‘all-in’ - knowing it is a journey we will never completely fulfill in this life. He seems to intend to disrupt or remove the particular things that we insist that we HAVE to have. It may be having love relationship that meets our expectations and deepest needs. It may be a certain amount of money, health, recognition, and/or success in our work life.

It seems to me that the greatest impediment to peace, happiness, and fulfillment is our minds. Many years ago, when I lost a ministry position that I felt was ideal for me, I was devastated. My happiness was built on the “American Dream” of ever-increasing personal and financial success. Then I started thinking about the big picture. There are people in most of the world who would be thrilled just to have a life with basic shelter, adequate food, freedom from serious oppression, air conditioning, etc. On the other side are people who are incredibly successful and wealthy who are very unhappy. It is our minds and the circumstances that we think we HAVE to have that makes us unhappy.

I no longer have a mate and certainly don’t expect to ever have one again. But over the years, as God has had me on the journey to ‘all-in,’ I have grown to feel far happier and tremendously appreciative of more and more of what are the simple ‘blessings’ of life that God has given me. He has blessed me with the opportunity to get far closer to my daughter and her family and given me new areas of growth, as well as intellectual and spiritual stimulation. Most of all, I feel the excitement and joy of being on a journey of getting closer to the God of the Universe!

I clearly have not arrived. I know that I can easily fall into judgmentalness, pride, or a lot of other things.  I still struggle with a tendency towards materialism. I certainly expect in the future that I will have serious struggles – like everyone does, but that God intends to use - IF I let him - to grow me closer to him. I certainly don't really know the God of the Universe, in a way that can be put in a box. I continue to be amazed in the often mysterious ways and directions he leads. But again, the point is that I am committed to the journey to ‘all-in’ and to the one day that I will pass the threshold when I can start to see the God who is beyond human comprehension! I was a slow spiritual learner - too distracted by my pursuit of romantic relationships. I hope that those who read this will start that journey to all-in far earlier than I did.

The Neglected Essentials of Christian Life

Even though I have been a very active Christian for many years, I did not realize the importance of the essentials that Jesus taught and lived. It was only when I faced the failure of my marriage and my Christianity, that I sought God from the depths of my soul and experienced his love and an active relationship with him like never before. In the following years, I deeply studied Jesus’ life and teachings and realized that I had neglected the essentials. It is apparent to me that many Christians have been distracted or led astray from the essentials. We have 200 denominations in the U.S. and many thousands of beliefs that emphasize other scriptures or things which may be important, but not as much as growing in the essentials, which are so often neglected. Some other things are even interpreted in a contrary way to them, or are traditions that are not even part of Jesus’ teachings. If we all truly emphasized the key things we would be far more unified and less bothered by the less-key differences. Jesus made very clear the essentials in his commandments, teachings, and life. These themes are talked about repeatedly in scripture. 1. Love God with all your heart, soul, and mind. (Jesus in Matthew 22:37). I read or heard this many times, but didn’t realize the profound implications. To do this, God has to be the very center of your life, not a ‘part’ of it. Jesus also says that "the entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments [loving God and loving others].” 2. Love others as yourself. (Matthew 22:39). Jesus also makes clear the equal importance of the 2nd commandment to love others. Why is it 'equal'? 1 John 4:20-21 says “But if we say we love God and don't love each other, we are liars.” We can do lip service towards this but practically speaking, how many of us show loving others – as ourselves - as a practical priority in our life? In the good Samaritan story (Luke 10:25-37), Jesus makes it clear that it’s not just for your friends and fellow believers, it also includes those whom you or your group see as ‘enemies.’ 3. Be so deeply connected to Jesus that you are always growing and producing fruit. (John 15:1-11). In his teaching on the requirement to be connected to his ‘vine,’ Jesus emphasizes the need for a deep and growing personal connection with him that yields more and more fruit. He makes it clear that if, after a period of time, this doesn’t happen, we may be cut off from the vine and ‘put in the fire.’ 4. Don't be inauthentic or distracted like the Pharisees. One of the most repeated themes of Jesus' life is his many confrontations with the Pharisees and religious leaders. While sticklers about most of the Jewish rules, they were also hypocritical, arrogant, superficial, and lacked loving God and others, which is why they couldn’t recognize Jesus as the long-prophesied messiah. I realized some years ago that this isn’t just those bad guys in Jesus’ day, but we all, myself included, tend to look down on others (especially those we judge as sinners) in a superior way like the Pharisee who thanked God that he wasn’t like the sinner praying (who had a truly humble and repentant heart). This superiority or legalism is what can happen when we get distracted from the core things that Jesus taught. Don’t take my (or anyone’s) word for your beliefs. Study the scripture (especially the gospels) deeply to the point where you begin to see ‘the big picture.’

Pharisees and Pharisaism

Jesus’s parable about the religious person and the sinner is very telling: “Then Jesus told this story to some who had great confidence in their own righteousness and scorned everyone else: "Two men went to the Temple to pray. One was a Pharisee, and the other was a despised tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed this prayer: 'I thank you, God, that I am not a sinner like everyone else. For I don't cheat, I don't sin, and I don't commit adultery. I'm certainly not like that tax collector! I fast twice a week, and I give you a tenth of my income.' "But the tax collector stood at a distance and dared not even lift his eyes to heaven as he prayed. Instead, he beat his chest in sorrow, saying, 'O God, be merciful to me, for I am a sinner.' I tell you, this sinner, not the Pharisee, returned home justified before God. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted." (Luke 18:9-14)

There was a time when I was leaving a store that, like often before, I saw people that were homeless, disabled, obese, or very unkempt. I thought, ‘Thank you God, for the blessings that you have given me (and that I am not like them).’ I immediately sensed God say in my spirit, “Don’t you dare see yourself as superior to them! Everyone has their own lot in life. You do not know what they have been through. Would you be any better if you had to deal with what they have had to deal with? I love them just as much.” I had spent a lot of effort helping a participant in our divorce ministry to not go homeless and got to know how many terrible situations some people have had in life. I had to admit that I would have probably done worse if I had gone through what they had gone through. I realized later, that I have been in some ways like the Pharisee in the scripture. I tended to look down on others that weren’t as well off as I was. The Pharisee strictly kept religious rules and traditions, and didn’t consider himself a sinner “like everyone else.” He looked down on 'sinners.' Do you see that in other Christians and even yourself? I think most Christians don’t realize that sin is sin and even though they go to church to some degree or another, they are not any less sinners. Scripture tells us to be truly humble and not to think we are superior to others. To many of us, church is sort of a nice ‘club,’ where the good people go and do the Christian show, while in truth, we should think of it more like AA or Celebrate Recovery, where everyone is a sinner that is aware of their need for help. The only difference between us and other sinners is that we recognize our need for help to this spiritual disease and that there is a spiritual answer. Like an alcoholic who has embraced the AA approach, we know that we will always have inclinations to sin and we need God and fellowship with other Christians to help us resist sin and to grow. What the Bible says and what Jesus said repeatedly must be taken seriously. One of the the biggest themes of Jesus' life and teachings was his dealing with the religious leaders of the day, particularly the Pharisees. In over two dozen occasions he had interactions with them, including in John 5, 7, and 8, starting with anger that he healed on the Sabbath and a series of other confrontations. Even a lot of believers ultimately wanted to stone him.

His main theme in his interactions with the Pharisees was condemnation for them for legalism, pride, hypocrisy, and so forth and their lack of truly knowing God and recognizing him as God's son. After many hours studying the Pharissees and the other religious leaders who were against Jesus, the simplest way I can describe them is that they were focused on Jewish rules , including those things they had added to the rules, but they completely lost the spirit of the law by ignoring the most important things. What were the most important things? Love God/Jesus, justice (which in the Bible usually meant justice for the marginalized people), mercy (which is 'forgiveness, withholding judgement, and compassion for those who have come up short in some way') and have faithfulness (steady following of God/Jesus). It wasn't a mistake that God had the amount of times those interactions and how long Jesus talked about them in the Bible. He meant to send a message for that generation and all generations to come. That is a message that would resonate from their day right up, through the hypocritical and sometimes corrupt formal Catholic days, to our day. It's a mistake to dismiss the scriptures about the Pharisees as "oh that's something that was just in their day and doesn't really have much impact on us." I believe that Jesus was showing love and justice when he rebuked the religious leaders. Most of all he was showing love to the people and to us by making clear the danger of not having the God's love in them. Also, like God, he hated the evil that they represented. In John 5:42, he says: “Your approval means nothing to me, because I know you don’t have God’s love within you."  We need to seriously consider what God saying through this theme. In summary, a key message for us from these scriptures is Love God and having the God's love in you, practice mercy, be for justice, and have faithfulness. Finally, in midst of all the hatefulness and hate in from the Pharisees, his direct message to them was:

"Jesus said to the people who believed in him, You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:31-32 PROBLEMS WITH JEWISH LEADERS: John 8:12-30, John 8::31-59, Luke 11:42, Matthew 12:38-42, Matthew 19:3-9, Mark 12:13-17, Matthew 22:34-40, Luke 7:30-33, Luke 7:36-50, Luke 19:37-40, Luke 20:1-8, Luke 20:19-26, John 8:1-10, Mathew 22:41-46, Mark 12:38-40, Mark 12:41-44, Matthew 12:1-8, Matthew 12:9-14, Luke 14:1-14, Mark 7:1-13, Luke 13:10-17, Luke 13:31-33, Luke 12:1-3, Matthew 5:20, Matthew 16:6-12, Matthew 21:33-47, Matthew 23:1-35, Luke 16:1-15, Luke 18:9-14, Matthew 9:2-7, Matthew 10:9-13, Matthew 9:32-34, John 5:31-32, Mark 12:18-24